Cigarette Bum

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Sarah is quite the lovely lady. But don’t let the name fool you, thats just her slave name. Her real name was something I don’t remember as I was a little too focused on how well her lips moved with what she was saying. I didn’t even finish my request for a picture before she let down her hair and moved into better lighting for the shot.

Sarah is a second generation Iranian-American. She told me not to worry as she was not one of the hostile ones who deny the holocaust and proclaim Hezbollah and all that shit. (Its a good idea to make peace with the Jews when living in Hollywood, it opens many more doors)

Sarah was slightly worried about a transfer to UCLA, but she was much more concerned about the chance that her parents would stumble across this website.

They don’t know that she smokes

I assured her that based on my site traffic, she was more likely to get struck by lightning then having her addiction exposed through this blog.

Our chat was interrupted by a phone call from the friend she was meeting and with that, I left.

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Welcome to the first official user post on CigaretteBum!

Sent in by tumblr user periodbloodexplosion. I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I can safely say that this Cigarette Bum is the drunkest on the site to date.

It looks like “Mug Night” got the best of this guy. From the look on the girls face, I’m thinking me and this dude share a love for midnight Del Taco runs, because she is definitely smelling some freshly busted ass.

Thank you periodbloodexplosion for submitting, and thank you for the wonderful picture you’ve painted with your user name.

If you’re reading this, send me an email with the story behind this shot and the location of the pic. eric.aldama@gmail.com

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This is Corey. Corey works a Bloomingdales but by the sound of things, that’s just the day job. He offered me money for a cigarette several times, but I declined. A picture would do. I was on a break from work and I proceeded to eavesdrop on his conversation with a coworker.

They shot the shit for a bit and Corey expressed his intentions to be rich on several occasions. He talks big, appreciates a beautiful woman, and looks like that one guy from that one movie.

I liked Corey. He had an energy rarely found in unsuccessful people. I’m not too worried about him.

I’ll see him again I’m sure, he doesn’t really smoke, but I’m optimistic.

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Mo and Dee are Hustlers with a capital “H.”

So last night me and my friend Chris went to the Rose Bowl for a good ol’ Amurican football game. UCLA vs. Washington State. Chris is currently working on his PhD there so he gets free tickets and doesn’t need a physical one to get in (but at this point he had one), he just needs his ID.

So Dee comes up to us asking if we have an extra ticket. We know where this is going so Chris says “5 bucks” Dee goes and grabs Mo for some change, Mo ain’t got no change so were standing there trying to find 5 dollars change.

Dee, in his super sales abilities, finds a random guy that needs an extra ticket quickly, and sells this “5 dollar ticket” for 25 dollars right in front of us. He gives Chris his five dollars. He then asks me for a cigarette to seal the deal.

We try to charge him 5 dollars for a cigarette, slowly bartering down to 1. He isn’t even down to pay that, so we ask for a photo. We laugh about the entire situation together and they are happy to have their picture taken.

If you’re ever at the Rose Bowl scalping tickets and you buy one from Mo and or Dee, just check the ticket and be sure that it doesn’t say “student ID required”

Your night will end very quickly if you’re not careful.

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So Gerald is long for Jerry, who has been on this blog before. I really didn’t want to put doubles up, but unfortunately I am poor at the moment and am a bit grounded at home.

So Fuck it I suppose.

Gerald stopped buying packs of cigarettes a couple weeks ago, so I gave him a tube of shredded tobacco I never use. Fucking cattle rustler over here has been John Wayneing it for some time, but tonight he asked me for a “real cigarette.” Of course I couldn’t say no.

We smoked and talked about this “Occupy Wallstreet” deal for a little bit. Then we ate leftover italian.

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Sean is a coworker of mine. He bummed a grit for his break, and assured me he would buy a pack and pay me back quickly. I appreciate his offer but, frankly, I don’t care about payback.

Sean only works on Sundays, and he may be the only good thing about having to work that day. Sean is a writer and his other job is to read scripts for a network station. The fact that he is a writer is comforting, because it is what I would like to be.

We shoot ideas back and forth to pass the time. It’s radtastic.

Any cigarette that is mine is yours buddy. (Minus my lucky one)

PS. Sean, if your reading this, just know that I wanted to blur out your nipples but alas, I don’t know how to use Photoshop.

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Ben was one of the few people at this BBQ I went to that was very excited to introduce himself. Everyone there was super nice and everything, but Ben… Ben was special.

Not special like Sling Blade, but yeah.

Ben and I were immediately immersed in discourse within moments. He helps run a production studio out here, I was intrigued to say the least and I tried to learn as much as I could in our few minutes.

He recommended me some books, gave me some tips in fording through the Hollywood Bullshit, and shared an iPhone App or two. This guy could be the spokesman for “Evernote.”

Thanks for the pep talk Ben, see you out there.

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JB aka John Black aka Black John 5K is one of the most humble and calmly focused men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

This guy was quick to let me take a picture and even posed like a champ. I had the opportunity to talk to John for a few minutes about the struggles of being an artist in Los Angeles.
It’s a tough and sometimes unfulfilling job, but this is what this man was born to be. John played some tunes around the camp fire that night and it was fucking phenomenal.

It was like Bob Dylan and Curtis Mayfield had a love child, and that love child was delivered by Johnny Cash.

If you have the opportunity to see him perform, don’t hesitate.

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This is Sam. Sam is a funny ass dude that is somewhat of an internet celebrity. Sam directs and creates videos on youtube. One of his videos has had 11 million views. Yeah, that’s an 11 with 6 zeros after it.

Sam bummed about 10 cigarettes off of me this night and I was happy to provide. He was quick witted and had the energy of a 12 year old at Toys R’ Us. This was his last night as a smoker as he was quitting the next day.

Sam is a good dude and we got into some blurry and wonderful hijinks that night. Thanks for the good times mang.

Sam’s youtube page can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/user/SamMacaroni
Check him out, he makes some good shit.

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I have no idea who Laurie is. I bummed her a gritnasty during a set by the Black Keys (as you can see in the background)

I know nothing about her, I don’t know where she is now, and I don’t know if she can’t be a man cause she don’t smoke the same cigarettes as me.

I only had a moment to ask her name, as she floated away in the waves of the crowd.

Peace easy stranger, see you down the road.

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I’ve known Edmundo for about a week now. I became friends with him very quickly as he is charming and friendly under a vail of being a bitch. I’ve known dudes such as Edmundo before, and they always have a knack for cracking my ass up. No pun intended.

Edmundo makes me feel uncomfortable often and has been trying to convince me that having sex with a dude doesn’t mean your gay. I can’t really see his logic, and I’ve never felt straiter because of it.

I enjoy the gays, I really do. Thank you Edmundo for making me feel sexy.

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I present to you, Ed. If you know me, there is a good chance you know Ed. There is also a good chance that you’ve accidentally called me Ed at some point. This guy is like family to me and we’ve seen a lot of shit together.

Ed bummed a grit off me on a drunken trek across Santa Monica. I think it was immediately after relieving ourselves in an ally. We started the evening with two plastic flasks filled with Jameson, a guy named Chris, and a dream of wild antics and blurry memories. What we got, was drunk and lost.

Ed was the first guy I ever got drunk with and also the last.

Gracias Puto.

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So I had this idea over a hungover breakfast in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco. I've learned over the years that cigarettes bring the most unlikely of people together in conversation over this nasty little addiction we all share.

This is merely a documentation of the individuals I've shared my grits with. May they live long, cancer free lives.

(I understand posting your debtors online cancels out any possible Karma points lending cigarettes might provide. I accept this consequence.)

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